


The Next Thirteen Days of Witchmas

by KriegsaffeNo9



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Board Games, Crossover, Dreams, Drinking, Gen, In-Jokes, Polyamory, Sequel, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-17 06:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16969524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KriegsaffeNo9/pseuds/KriegsaffeNo9
Summary: It's the most wonderful time of the year, when witches pay tribute to their horrifying gods and Constanze is moved to tear down dimensional barriers in pursuit of her ultimate dream.  Who will survive to be merry and bright?  (SPOILER: All of them.  It's just gonna be a wacky trip to get to December 25th.)Day 1: Atlach-Nacha Day means sharing dreams.  Diana's inadvertently foretells the future.Day 2: Celebrating Zhar-Lloigor Day in a hole.Day 3: Ithaqua Day cocktails and board... activities.Day 4: Nelson ensures a bitchin' Cthugha Day.Day 5: Lotte celebrates with her girlfriend and wife.Day 6: Diana satiates the gods.Day 7: Akko, lost in time and space.Day 8: A simple choice of movie leads to a miraculous appearing.





	1. Sweat Dreams are Made of These

The New Nine, minus Chariot and Croix, took over the big round sofa and its big round table in the commons area for their evening celebration of Atlach-Nacha Day.

"To the future!" Akko said, holding up a cup of hot apple cider.

"May it somehow be less horrifying than the present," Sucy said, setting her empty cup on the common room table.

"You're so optimistic today," Lotte said, sincerely.

"So, we gonna share our dreams 'n shit today?" Amanda said. "'Cause I have a pirated copy of that Spider-Man animated movie we could watch instead. That's like doing a solid to Attles, right?"

"Maybe after we enjoy the tradition," Diana said. Amanda fidgeted in her seat and felt around for her cell phone. "How about I go first?"

"Please, do~" Akko said.

"The other night," Diana said, consulting her dream diary, "I had a dream about Cavendish manor. The front doors had fallen off their hinges. It looked as though it had been abandoned for years, hard years at that, with spiders and rats the only tenants."

"Spiders!" Lotte said. "That means it might be a message from Atlach-Nacha herself!"

"It may very well be," Diana said. She sighed. "I wandered for... it must've felt like hours. My room... my mother's room... the library... all lost. Everything that could have been a memento had been ruined by time far beyond recovery. I realized, even in the dream, what this meant. I can't hold on to the past, no matter how much I desire. It's all dead, all gone. To be the woman I'm meant to be, I must live for the future."

"See?" Lotte said, smiling at Sucy, who quietly flipped her off.

Diana took a drink of her cider.

"Oh, what about the next thing?" Akko said.

"It's... is it necessary?" Diana said.

"Oh, I bet it is," Amanda said. "Come on, Witchy Witch, tell us 'the other part.' All the gory details!"

Diana took one last sip. "Well. I was in the kitchen, trying to find my old milk cup. But I opened the cupboard and one of those awful rabbit robots from earlier in the year hopped out to attack me. I tried to fend it off, but I just couldn't cast any spells."

"Like in a dream when I can't punch hard!" Jasminka said. "But I sure can eat."

Constanze, who was hard at work upgrading a Stanbot, looked up.

"It was at that time I realized that, in the dream, that rabbit person was attacking the mansion on top of it being decrepit. So I called for help and--"

"--Akko showed up in a thong or somethin'?" Amanda said.

"No," Diana said, a little blush blooming on her cheeks. "It was a hugely tall blonde woman in white clothes. She shouted a short phrase and started hacking things apart with a magic sword, robots and house alike. I woke up once she spotted Plundor, so I didn't see how that fight we--"

Constanze made an excited noise and reached for her tablet. She jotted down three words and held it out: PLUNDOR THE SPOILER???

"...Yes," Diana said. "How did you know?"

"We told her before," Akko said. "I mean, I told Wangari, so she told the newspaper, or I mean she wrote the newspaper--"

Constanze picked up her Stanbot and ran across the table, jumping onto Akko's head and from there outside the couch circle, racing for the team dormitory.

"Whoops, looks like Cons abdicated, guess that means we're--" Amanda said.

Jasminka pointed her wand at Amanda. "Sit down, please," she said.

"Okay," Amanda said, hands up as she lowered herself back into her seat.

"Are you done with your magical dream?" Jasminka said.

"I belive I am," Diana said. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," Jasminka said, "Constanze has strong and strange loves, that's all. May I tell my dream next?"

"Sure," Akko said.

"Last night," Jasminka said, swelling with pride, "I dreamed that--"

* * *

In the depths of the Cons Cave, Constanze pulled down her Secret Blackboard. She read and re-read the copy of the Luna Nova News Network paper until she was certain she had the details sorted out in her head. She added a new element to her equation and worked it all out.

The writing was on the wall, or at least on the smart blackboard on the wall:

HE MAN IS REAL

She bit her lip and added a final word:

...SOMEWHERE

She clenched the stylus in her tiny hand and furrowed her tiny German brow. Everything was somewhere, after all. That legendarily catastrophic board game they'd played earlier in the year gave proof to that.

All she had to do was find where Eternia was.

* * *

"The end," Jasminka said.

Diana stood up, set her cider mug down on its saucer, turned around, knelt on the couch, and hurled up the entire contents of her stomach on the other side of the couch.

"Are you the Devil?" Akko said through a shimmering waterfall of tears.

"Some people say I have the Devil in me~" Jasminka giggled.

"'No, Amanda,'" Amanda said, "'we're sitting down and sharing our feelings and our pretty little dreams. Sit down and listen! Sit down and listen, bitch!' That's what you idiots all sound like."

"You have any more of those..." Sucy scratched her chin to complete the reference. "...freaky-ass dreams?"

"I'll send you my blog," Jasminka said.

"Yes, please."


	2. Lotus Land Story

Sucy flicked her Bic lighter, the one with a picture of herself with big breasts etched onto the side. She'd broomed down a lengthy shaft--

"Phrasing!" Lotte said.

"What the hell makes you say that, you yellow-haired marriage-having idiot?" Sucy said.

"I don't know," Lotte said. "The antipsychotics didn't work..."

"Whatever." Where was she... oh, yeah. She'd ridden her broom through a hole kicked out in the back of a closet and flew down to this little, surprisingly-warm room with bare wooden walls and freshly-laid blankets, towels, and pillows. "Where is this place?"

Akko leaned in to the spooky flickering flame. "I fell into a hole a couple months ago and it led to this, like, secret place in the walls."

"Like that time Diana got bitten by a possum and fell into a hole that led to all the banished Luna Nova buildings and rooms hanging out in fourth-dimensional space?"

"Yes! Except this is just a normal, borin' ol' abandoned room! Not even a story attached! Just a long drop to a nice, private place where your ma can't find you."

Sucy looked at the flame dancing in her lighter. "This... you found this place for me?"

"Yeah!" Akko said. "You've been saying stuff like 'man I don't wanna see my mom' or 'wow I had like the worst dream about my mom last night' and I'm like, you need a break from your mom. Who showed up today and is upstairs now! So here you are, away from her, hangin' with your pals doin' pal things. And Zhar-Lloigor likes it underground, yeah?"

"They are the lord of hidden places in the dark, yes," Sucy said, taking a seat. "That's... uh. That's very thoughtful of you." She narrowed her eye. "Are you really Akko?"

"As far as I know~" Akko said, swelling with pride.

"Do you guys wanna watch a movie or take a nap?" Lotte said, holding out her viewing globe.

"Hey," Sucy said. "Did you ask Diana about the thing, Akko?"

"What th--oh, yeah." Akko winked. "She said that since it's just the one thing and it's, like, helping you with working out emotional tension and stuff, she'd be okay wi--"

Sucy pounced, dropping her lighter into the blanket she sat on and wrapping her legs and arms around Akko's torso, forcing her mouth onto her friend's and showering her with violent kisses.

Lotte looked on in awe before the smell of smoke alerted her to other problems.

Sucy gnawed on Akko's lip.

"Thith ith a little more than one thing!" Akko said.

"Shut up and kiss me, you stupid, stupid bitch," Sucy said.

"Okay, but just one more minute, alright?"

* * *

The teachers' lounge was a hotbed of teachers trying to set up for Mrs. Manbavaran's arrival.

"Did somebody think to make a cake?" Ms. Badcock said, looking terribly nervous and terribly overdressed. "I don't want her to poison us for being bad guests."

"If she's going to poison us," Finneran said, "she's going to poison us, let's put it--"

The door melted to a puddle of liquefied wood. Mrs. Manbavaran stumbled through. She had two handles of rum clenched in one hand; her technically-classy mestiza dress had suggestively fallen out of alignment with her ludicrously curvaceous body. "You bitches..." she said, "only left out... _two_ bottles... of rum. I'm... I was so mad... I had... to drink... both... _immediately_." She brandished the bottles at the teachers. "Immediately!"

"Hello," Ms. Badcock said, overly happy. "Don't suppose--"

"I'm going to screw every last one of you. That's how mad I am." She ripped her dress apart. "Who's first?"

Every teacher got laid and only a few teachers got poisoned.


	3. Devil's Pass

Lotte bayed a hideous howl at the gibbous moon overhead, the sleet scouring her frail body like gravel. "Ithaqua! Walker on the Wind! Lord of the dead future! Lord of the last night falling at the last star's end! May your burning gaze fall upon us! May your cold talons rake us off this world! May the snow fall forever and all living things fall to a final sleep! _Ithaqua ir ix ni qiranaq_!"

Lightning cracked the sky; far away a tree burst into flame.

Lotte pulled her hood up and shivered. "Alright, that'll cover the prayer portion of our evening. Now, to the cabin!"

"To the cabin!" Akko said.

The two witches ran to the cozy cabin hastily erected with witchcraft in the haunted forest.

* * *

The cabin had a roaring fireplace, a stack of board games, wifi, bunk beds for the Crimson Corsairs and the Verdant Viceroys, a little partitioned mini-bedroom for Akko and Diana, a hot tub vortex, and most importantly--

"What'll it be, Mack?" the bartending spirit said behind the dry bar.

"I'm gonna ta-a-a-ake..." Akko said, "a Peppermint Patty cocktail like the one you got in your hand right now."

"Of course." He poured out hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps and marshmallows.

"I would very much enjoy a True Love's First Kiss," Lotte said, with a wink, "If you please."

"Whatever," the spirit said.  He handed over a hot chocolate with Frangelico and Kahlua.

Sucy stepped behind the bar, took a bottle of high proof rum, bit the cap off, and took a five-second swig. "I'm just gonna get fucked up a little."

"Sure thing!" Akko said, holding out her mug. "To peace!"

"To peace," the Corsairs said, clinking their drinks together.

"Can I take this shirt off now?" Akko said, brushing snow from her YOU WISH THAT YOU HAD SUCY'S GIRL novelty t-shirt that Sucy made her wear.

"Sure," Sucy said. "Hand it over."

Akko did.

"Now," Sucy said, tucking the shirt into a hermetically sealed plastic bag for later use, "how's about we play that board game that Cons has layed out for us?"

Constanze pat the coffee- and activity table. She regarded the Corsairs with an intensity that seemed out-of-place given the goal (to party hard and flip off the cold). A bunch of mini-boards, cardboard standee posters, and Masters of the Universe action figures on stands were laid out on the table, ready for use.

"Oh, this isn't one of your space mutant mega games?" Akko said, picking up what looked like a Battletoad if he were a pink snake instead of a frog. Constanze smacked her hand. "Ow!"  
She placed a broad-shouldered woman of color in Akko's hand, her feet affixed to a stand labeled NETOSSA, along with a character sheet.

"Hey, this is a FATE sheet!" Akko said, eyes alit. "You did mod this old-ass game! Good on... you." She squinted and held the sheet close to her face. "Why do I have a '3D Spatial Reasoning' skill?" Then she saw that there were two additional pages stapled to the front sheet. "Holy crap. There's thirty skills on this sheet. That's like ten times as many as normal!"

"Three times, idiot," Sucy said.

"Whatever! It's still like a lot!"

"She's German, man," Amanda said. "You can't expect her to not play horribly complicated board games. 'Cause if you did, that's super racist of you!"

"We'll digest the intricacies of that statement later," Diana said. "I think that I would like to play this woman with the blonde hai--"

Constanze pounced on the She-Ra action figure, hugging it close. She gently but firmly shook her head.

"Aww," Lotte said, "Constanze has a little bitty girlfriend~!"

Constanze pursed her lips. "...maybe..." she said.

Lotte's eyes glistened with shipping potential. "Did you say what I think you--"

Sucy splashed some rum in her face. "Cool down," she said, though it was lost to Lotte screaming once high-proof alcohol splashed over her glasses and into her delicate eyeballs.

The game was long, horribly overcomplicated, but seemingly uneventful.

In the depths of the night, lulled to sleep by the howling of the wind and the distant trod of Ithaqua pacing the forest for prey, Constanze performed the dark witchcraft of Math. Tonight's game was just another data point. It wouldn't be long before she had the map of the territory... and then would come the plunge.


	4. Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire

Alas, Cthugha Day got off to a bad start with an announcement by Finneran over the intercom:

"In lieu of an outdoor bonfire this year, in order to prevent a hat fire we shall be having an indoor-accessible fire pit to discourage inconvenient traveling flames. Thank you and praise the Star Heart in its endles sojurn through the dark."

Thankfully, come broom class, Prof. Nelson rose to the challenge.

"Hey, kids," she said, loading a flare gun. "On account of Finny being a goddamn coward, I'm gonna start us a little Cthugha Fire out here on the lawn. Who objects?"

Nobody raised their hand except Sara.

"Yo, Mount Lady, you got a problem with fire?" Nelson said, aiming the flare gun at her. When she screamed and hit the dirt, Nelson sighed. "What! I'm not gonna shoot--"

She shot. The flare rocketed through where Sara's face had been a second ago and careened into Finneran's hat. It burst into flame at once. Finny screamed and flung her hat to the snow and fired spells at it 'til it stopped being on fire.

"Aw, you threw off my aim, jackass," Finneran said, slotting a new flare into the gun. "Alright, this time, it's gonna be--"

"Don't you dare, Nelson," Finneran said.

"What! I'm not gonna point it at nobody this ti--" Nelson said, firing the flare gun while it was pointed at Hannah. She threw Barbara in the way; Barbara's shriek of shock was cut off by the flare hitting the back of her throat and igniting.

It was a long, touch-and-go day at the nurse's office, but to her immense chagrin Finneran wound up rewarding Nelson with a commendation for flare gun marksmanship, as per Luna Nova rules of decorum.

Finneran had many, many symbolic regrets to burn for Cthugha that year.


	5. Chocolat

"There!" Lotte said, starting a voice call on Discord on the laptop. "And now I can talk to both of you at the same time!"

Annabel squinted. "What did you do, Lotte?"

"I bought a laptop so I can talk to my girlfriend--" she flourished at Annabel's image on the laptop--"and my wife"--likewise, to the viewing globe and Lilou--"at the same time!" Lotte said, flourishing at the laptop and her viewing globe. "Isn't that great?"

"You can call multiple people on the same computer," Annabel said. "That way you don't get that weird echoing effect like we're getting right now."

"...oh!"

"It's alright, Lolo," Lilou said. For the latecomers, Lilou was a gentle-featured blonde, a little shorter than Lotte, with long platinum blonde hair, bright red eyes, married to Lotte (as shown by the plain green wedding ring she wore), and who was secretly a mothman. That's a spoiler for Card Ticket to Hawaii, by the way. Right now Lilou was seated on a novelty thimble-shaped ottoman in a room designed to look like a magical intelligent mouse or fairy's room, with oversized everyday objects that gave her the illusion of tininess.

Annabel was in Jamaica and eating a shitload of Jamaican beef patties on a beachside patio. "Yeah, it's not a dealbreaker or anything." She took a long sip from a remarkably subtle cocktail. "Anyway, hi, pleased to meet you, Lilou."

"And pleased to meet you, Annabel! Have you had a chance to kiss my husband yet?" She bat her eyes at her.

"I... uh..." Annabel dabbed at her lips with a lacy napkin. "We went on a date that went well. I think we're at the hand-holding stage in the relationship."

"Oh, that's nice too!" Lilou said. "Love whatever you like to do."

"We do like holding hands!" Lotte said. "Ah, did my gifts reach you?"

"Mm-hm!" Annabel said. "Once I get done with dinner, I'm digging in."

"I'm ready right now," Lilou said, putting a hefty wrapped box on her table (what tiny object it was supposed to be was unclear). "May I please, Lotte?"

"Thou may~" Lotte said, curtsying.

Lilou untied the ribbon and ran her nail along the fold in the wrapping paper 'til it fell open. The box was wooden, painted with the colorful image of a moth and a spider at play in a traditional Finnish folk style. Inside was a giant pile of Finnish chocolate bars: Geisha, filled with hazelnut cream; Dumle, nuggets of chocolate stuffed with toffee; piles of assorted Fazer flavors; and Brunburg kisses, what Cons would identify as schokokuss. Lilou lit up. "Oh, sweetness! You shouldn't have~!" she said.

"I had to," Lotte said. "I know you love your chocolates. I tried to find some good exotic marshmallows for toasting, but... well, I sorta ran out of room..."

Lilou took a bite of a chocolate kiss, whimpering in awe at the richness and softness. "I love you, Lolo."

"Love you too, Lulu." She kissed the viewing globe.

Annabel laid her napkin on top of her beef patties, looking guilty. "Wow. You love her a lot, don't you."

"I love you a lot too, Annabel!" Lotte said, kissing her laptop screen in turn. Annabel blinked. "I have a lot of love to give, you know," she said. "And I'm full to bursting with so much love for both of you!"

"I'll get my--I mean--yeah, lemme get what you got me," Annabel said, picking up her computer and bringing it with her into her beach house. She rooted around in the refrigerator 'til she liberated a box with a grumpy-looking frost spirit sitting on top. "Okay... what do I do about the little guy?"

"Kiss my ass, bitch," the spirit said.

"Just tell him his watch has ended, he loves references like that," Lotte said.

"Your watch is ended, little guy," Annabel said, saluting.

The spirit exploded.

"Jesus Christ!" Annabel said.

"It's cool, they like that part!" Lotte said. "Go on, go on, you gotta open your box-- _phrasing_!" She wiped her brow. "Phew... I knew where that came from, at least."

"I'll open it up nice and wide for ya," Annabel said, with a wink. She cracked open the matte black box, revealing a blue ice sculpture of Edgar, Arthur, and Belle embracing. "Wow," she said. "That's an amazing sculpt. Did you use a mold? Did you carve it out yourself?"

"I commissioned it," Lotte said. "The box should have the guy's contact information if you want to order him to make more! Also... give it a lick."

Annabel looked around and took a gentle lick of Arthur's head. Her eyes opened wide. "...This is a frozen Blue Hawaiian!"

"Your favorite," Lotte said.

"Witch Christmas is amazing," Annabel said, licking away.

"The best," Lotte sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hannah and Barbara were trying to kill each other with knives. Didn't work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adventuring with a friend delayed the chapters a bit... eh, what the hell. They'll all be up more or less on time.


	6. (My) Anaconda (Don't)

Daryl declined coming to Luna Nova this year on account of performing private rituals to Yig Snake Daddy on the Cavendish estate. Though it was only the decayed branch of the Cavendishes that worshiped the Fork-Tongued One, Diana volunteered to perform the dance in His honor for the sake of Luna Nova.

"You sure you don't wanna join this year, Cons?" Akko said.

Constanze, who was wearing a silver breastplate augmented with red scale armor and a net-launching catapult on its back, shook her head and waved her on.

"A'ight, see you later!" Akko said, closing the door to Cons's snakeproof safety room and heading to the school sports pitch, whistling.

* * *

A line of trained drummers girded with snake skeletons played a rolling, thundering song, like the sound of rain or great footsteps. Diana stood just in front of them, her head peeking from an all-concealing cloak. She wore makeup--not a common Diana move, and one that worried Akko just a little since the last time she did was during her brief jag as a supervillain. In specific Diana orange-red eyeshadow, accented with not-quite-burnt-toast black-brown stripes from the corners of her eyes to her ears.

"Hi, Diana!" Akko said, waving from the bleachers and making sure not to move her feet at all, so as to not anger the snakes.

Diana gently waved back. She took a deep breath, and the drums tapered to a stop. "This next song is known to please Yig. I shall perform a particular dance in honor of the Serpent-Father. May your burrow be warm and your spawn plentiful, Whose Scales Seeded The Land."

She turned away from the crowd and cast off her mantle. Below it she wore what looked like a body-hugging suit of overlapping, copper-colored scales; down her back ran a zig-zagging stripe the color of her eye stripes. She moved her hips subtly as the massive, earth-facing speakers began to play a weird, spooky song; once the instrumentation kicked into full gear, she performed a sly, sensuous belly dance, with much careful tapping of the feet in particular patterns and sinuous undulations and, for whatever reason, a lot of tongue flicking.

Lots of tongue flicking, Akko noticed, among other things.

When the song ended and the audience gently said "Clap! Clap!" to signify their approval, Akko raised her hand.

"Yes, Akko?" Diana said, once she noticed the hand.

Akko stood up, wiping copious sweat from her forehead. "Can I move now? And relatedly, are you done with the... the... the thing?"

"Yes, you may," Diana said, and before she could clarify she was done Akko's outerwear exploded and she cleared the ten meters between her and her girlfriend in a single mighty leap, landing in Diana's arms and showering her with passionate kisses.

"That's a neat... what's that you're wearing, Diana?  A leotard?" Akko said.

"This isn't a leotard," she said, smearing one of the scales on her shoulder.  "This is body paint over a swimsuit."  After a moment, she added, "I'm done now, by the by.  And it's very cold out here."

"Not for long," Akko said, slipping from Diana's arms and then lifting her over her head. "We're going to lie down for a minute! Don't knock! We'll tell you when we're done lying down!" She ran back to the dormitory, crashing through several fences and ancient stone walls on the way.

No snake problems this year.


	7. Cube Zero

Akko fired her flare gun into the air. She watched the flare hang far overhead, gently illuminating the matte gray ceiling. "Hello?" Akko said. "Anybody nearby? Anybody hear me?"

If anyone was within a few twists of the cold steel walls, they didn't answer.

Maybe she should stay here, wait for someone to come for her. I mean, she only had two more flares, and her wand was... well, she hoped it was okay, wherever it was. Right! So the best thing to do would be to stay still, and--wait, she should save her voice in case she wound up singing or calling for attention for hours on end and then couldn't scream when a bunch of minotaurs showed up and started killing her.

She settled on a plan: she used the spent shell and the butt of her flare gun to play a bitchin' drum solo on the wall and definitely tell people she was there! And if there were minotaurs: screaming.

A voice thundered from above:

"ATSUKO... KAGARI... PLEASE... REFRAIN... FROM DISRUPTING... THE MOOD OF... THE ESCAPE ROOM."

"Heck off, Stanbot Omega!" Akko said, flipping off the ceiling/sky. "This is my crazy master plan!"

Up in her control booth, Constanze groaned. Everybody else had escaped by now. She checked her watch; tragically, the mandatory escape room override wouldn't kick in for another hour and thirteen minutes.

Daoloth would be pleased, at least, and this was technically an important data point. The data point being that even the simplest plan wouldn't survive contact with Akko.


	8. Cinema Inferno

"There is a very simple way to resolve this," Diana said. "Alright. One: Raise your hand if you want to see Creed 2."

Amanda raised her hand.

"Alright. Two: Raise your hand if you want to see Bumblebee."

Constanze and Jasminka raised their hands.

"Just so you know I'm cool with that too," Amanda said, "but I--"

"I understand," Diana said. "Wait a moment. Now, who would like to see the new Spider-Man again?"

Akko and Diana raised their hands.

"Haven't you seen that already?" Sucy said, barely paying attention.

"Yes," Diana said brightly, "seven times. Next, who would like to see Mary Poppins V. Aquaman: Dawn of Justice Society?"

No hands.

"Of course. Okay. Sucy, Lotte, you haven't raised your hands. What would you like to see?"

"Welcome to Mar--" Lotte said, eyes a-sparkle.

Sucy clapped her hand over Lotte's mouth. "She wants to see Violent Shit 6: Human Heartbeat Hammer.  In the splash zone seats. Isn't that right?"

"So we have your votes," Diana said, and pulled out a lumpy, semi-triangular d5.

"What the hell is that?" Sucy said.

"The end result of a lamentable Kickstarter," Diana said, and cast the die onto the floor. Everyone gathered around to see the result.

* * *

"I'm gonna call you Bumblebee," the teenage protagonist said, "'cause I just found out you can breathe swarms of bees on command."

Bumblebee gave her a thumbs up and continued ejecting a swarm of bees at passerby.

"JUST KISS ALREADY!" Lotte said, jumping up into her seat.

"Easy, killer," Akko said, working her into her seat. "Sorry, folks, she gets this way when a ship happens!"

"No, I agree, they should kiss!" another movie patron said.

"Raise your hand if you think the Volkswagen and the teenager should kiss!" Diana said.

Half the theater raised their hand, Constanze and Jasminka among them.

"Contingent on if he has a robot penis or not," Sucy said. "There is precedent for a scrotum, but I need more than that for my dark desires."

By the end of the film, Sucy's question was answered to the delight and awe of all. It was a Magnum Innominandum Day miracle.


End file.
